509 - Parts of life they usually hide away
Goddess… are You going to do with me what You always did in my dreams? I found myself imagining it vividly, as is effortless to do with something you have experienced so many times, and breaking out in a sweat of shyness at the idea of the crowd witnessing it, both at the same time. Especially Niku, Skorsas and Kallijas witnessing it. And my parents. And my little sibs. And the Fenjitzas, as well as his grave-faced priests… especially everyone. I had never even told anyone how exactly it had gone, but Itasas. One cannot get more personal.
And yet, She had done it, every time, for public reasons. I hadn’t known at the time, and yet some part of me had somehow sensed it. What was there of significance in my life that was not for public reasons?
Do you give yourself? The words were almost voiceless, not letting me know even whether it was Him or Her who spoke them. Yes. Muunas poured Himself into me, through a spot between and above my eyes, and another at the same height behind my head, like liquid sunlight into a glass vessel. When I felt full, He poured still more, concentrating it in me, heating my core.
I don’t know that I can bear this… will it kill me? I had lived through so much here already that I shouldn’t have, I might have felt myself to be immortal, except that each threat of death brought the natural fear anew. Stay in the state; if I die, it was as it must be. Always, in the realm of spirit, everything is as it must be; or perhaps it always is, but only when we are in the realm of spirit do we fully know it.
The more the God filled me with Himself, the more I understood: fear is a thing of the flesh, that is there only to protect the flesh. The soul is above fear, polluting itself with it only when it is in state of delusion. Mind walks the edge between, and always makes choices, including those which do not seem like choices, or those which seem like inevitabilities.
Mind is as light and substanceless as sunlight, the feeling of the God whispered to me. Only that which has weight need have fear. Being substanceless, mind is entirely free; it only does not know itself as such when it is in a state of delusion. Do not turn away from your darkness to defeat it; turn towards it. Only by delineating its edges from those of light can you see it in its true form, and know it for what it is.
The Goddess stepped toward me, and her hair flowed floating around me. I felt the brushing of its ends against my skin feather-light, like the tails of a thousand tiny fish in the sea off Haiu Menshir. Forgetting shyness, I yearned to feel them insert themselves into every opening in me and fill every space, even those between cells.
She left my surface inviolate, though, coming to me more like a woman. I did not know Her face well, I realized, since always in the dream I had my eyes closed, or blindfolded with hair; She had always made me know Her by feel. I studied the perfection of Her features with the fire of His love for Her in my heart. Her eyes reflected the glow that must be in mine back to me. Then He turned me and we danced her Ten Steps.
They are of creation, but world-creation, the creation of vastnesses, the realization of great visions, not the fine detail of the divine fessas. Thus the love in that creation, instead of illuminating one particular object, informs the whole world itself, and so must be as great as the world. I am just one mortal person, I don’t know that I can bear this, my bones might burst, my heart disintegrate, my manhood explode… stay in the state. Stay in the state, fear nothing, ask no questions, anticipate nothing… I moved by the will of the God, in a great circle—Arkans see rya/kya that much—which returned me to face the Goddess.
She and I reached our hands towards each other’s as one, and I felt His desire surge in me. Her eyes shone with Her desire for Him, through me. The creation that makes Earthspheres is what Their union symbolizes. If They do that through me, surely I cannot survive. In marble, the gossamer linen gown she wore, pinned at the shoulders, was so brilliantly rendered as to look translucent over the curves of her body; now I saw her skin’s pinkness through the linen, and the darkness of her nipples.
Do you give yourself to Me? I took Her hands, meaning yes. Do you give yourself to your fate?
Yes… have I not always? Or since I was seven? There are no secrets from the Gods, or at least from Selinae.
Her hands were not hard as they had been in the dreams, but mother-soft. They moved mine with liquid gentleness, drawing them to Her breasts, such that Her nipples caught in the clefts between the second and third fingers of each of my hands. She was no taller than me now. Her deep pink lips parted slightly. I understood; to me, She was Goddess; to Him who was in me, She was woman, as Niku was to me.
I wanted to taste those nipples, send ecstasy into Her through them with a pinch of my tongue and my teeth. I stroked my hands down from her shoulders, found the sides of the linen open, followed the under-curve of her breasts, soft as chick-down, with my fingers. From an abyss of distance I heard the whoops and whistles of the crowd. Sex is but part of life, that Arkans usually hide away… the Ten Tens is full of parts of life they usually hide away... how did they come up with it?
I lifted the almost-weightless linen away, bent my head and took Her sword-side nipple between my lips, then drew it in deeper, catching and pressing. She gasped, and arched back Her shining head. Her hair seized me all over, but only embracing, not penetrating. The God’s and my desire flared up through my centre. She unclasped the pins and threw off the linen entirely, letting it drift down through Her hair like a wisp of falling steam.
The breath and bodies of divinities smell like perfection, enthralling, entrancing, filling you with hugeness and limitlessness and the sight of possibilities undreamt. Selinae is of the Moon as Muunas is of the Sun, but it felt like the entire Earthsphere I pleasured, and pleasured me. They cannot die and so need not breathe, you would think, but Her breaths came harder and faster. After just clutching my shoulders for a time, She seized my head with one arm and my manhood, hard, with the other. Then She was floating, as in the dream, wrapping Her legs around my back, and drawing me into Her, moist and hot and clenching.
The Sun coursed through me, making me thrust more sharply and deeply than I alone had the strength or speed for. Hearing my breaths tear through me and feeling my heart hammer-banging in my chest, I thought again that I might not survive, but was only happy for it, not fearful; what better a death could anyone wish? Flowers of impossible colours sprouted and spread in my eyes even before the peak; my skin ceased to be boundary between within and without, opening me to all the world’s feeling; as vividly as it would be if they were touching me, I felt the crowd pleasuring themselves, or each other, the Yeolis especially, like at a love-feast, in reflection. When the Goddess and I, who was also the God, came, I heard my own ecstasy-cry shake the Temple itself, rising clear over the ecstasy-cries of everyone else, and the choir singing a song of ecstasy-cries, that I couldn’t have imagined any Arkan ever composing.
It went on and on, longer than I alone had strength for, too. The God carried my exhausted body on the bottomless strength of His intent. When it was finally done, I unstrung, limp as a corpse in Her arms; I could do nothing else. Goddess-sized again, She lifted and cradled me to Her. Rest. I will breathe strength into you. I did. It was Her, entering me by the same two head-openings, the sinuous locks of Her hair first. This isn’t over I’m not tired I’m not tired stay in the state stay in the state stay in the state…
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*sigh* Amazing.
Yes it is.
Yes it is. The Ten Tens are definitely the highlight of the whole story.
I have to agree with Chevenga, it is really surprising how religions in practice can be the exact opposite from what they claim to be about (though that is usually only noticeable to those outside of it).
I suppose the reasoning behind that for Arkans is something like: This is something holy, so my own imperfect attempts would only soil it, hence avoid it as far as possible.
Some things might have come with foreign conquerors. The remainder probably followed the simple scheme: I get more power if I keep those below me small and it simply escalated. In real life surveillance, censorship and military force are the most frequently used (and obvious in intent) methods for that purpose.
It is quite funny how most of the things that bother Chevenga on the arkan culture are in fact pretty much proven wrong as divine intent during the Ten Tens. The caste system (which includes slaves) is probably the only thing that is actually supported. Though even that might be somewhat redefined to effectively remove it.
Two points:
First, Arko bears the marks of a nation founded by conquest that has never itself been conquered. I live in such a nation, so know what to look for.
Second, you presume to think that Chevenga can change the edicts of the very Gods? Such hubris! Except he's already done so on at least two occasions already . . . albeit on a much smaller scale than what you propose.
Everything depends on the
Arko wasn't conquered recently, but as Chevenga mentioned it was in the early stages a possible outcome - see the parts of prayers to Aras. Furthermore where would the alleged precedents for a simplified Ten Tens come from?
Of course one has to keep in mind there is supposed to be a several thousand year long history. So there is a lot of time to block out the memory.
I think the best option to counter slave / caste system is to to reduce the effects to the bare minimum. There are very few explicit restrictions that keep them in place (at least they weren't mentioned yet).
For example someone has to do the menial work and the work has to organized. There is as far as I know no requirement to keep the lower castes from voicing their opinion on the projects as long as it is done in a respectful way. Together with a more merit based mechanism for elevation, manumitting all slaves (makes this almost to a normal profession).
In the end the difference between castes or just professions is small. Effectively the only real difference would be that even people outside of direct association have a definite hierarchy. But without a obvious indicator of the rank, like the hair style, that becomes mostly moot too. As long as the justice system works independently.
Take the usual situation in real life between employer and employee... there is a ranking too.
Besides the relationships between the various Gods aren't so much different.
I might argue..
with you about living in a nation that has never been conquered. It depends on whether you live north or south.
Dan Quayle fell over that one while speaking in Charleston I believe. Too many idiot things he said, while disregarding that the Civil War ever happened.
(Now I have 'The Night They Drove Ol' Dixie Down' in my head.)
Good point, well made.
But I'm Shawnee (a people conquered for two hundred years), so it doesn't really apply to me.
Toast, re a nation never conquered
...I'm interested to know the signs you have spotted.
Until recently, obviously.
Oh, lots of stuff during the war, in folks taking for granted that things were going swimmingly because the idea of the rejins losing was literally inconceivable, that manner of thing. Of course I'm not counting Kurkas in "folks," that would be foolish. The man was, critically, not a reflection of his people. "The King Is His Country," sure, but in this case the country had to be warped to fit the king, which stresses everybody out.
Now, I'm not discounting the success of internecine wars, struggles for succession and the like. Clearly there is precedent for the Dead Man's Gaudy-Ass Hand Jewelry model of succession.
No, an outside conquest will, by necessity, inflict by whatever means required a certain humility in the conquered, to cement the new power's hold. Again, we saw this a lot during the war, although Cheng prevented the seasoned professionals from doing the best job of it they could, and of course we thank him for it.
This humility is absent in the Arkan people. They are, up until the Sack (and for some after; minds are not so easy to change) fundamentally convinced of their culture's superiority, and a previously conquered nation does not have so deep-rooted a faith in itself.
Of course, this applies primarily to the City Itself; most of the rest of the Empire was conquered by Arko in the first place, so the people either have that humility working the opposite way (as in Moghiur), or have been conquered so long the scars have healed and they're all one big happy Empire now. Twenty years ago, I'd have said it's like the difference between Georgia and Siberia, but I can't think of a good modern example off the top of my head.
The main thing I see myself
...is the arrogance, so I thought you might be seeing the same. It's that particularly innocent arrogance of having never suffered humiliation or major pain as a culture, for a very long time. Chevenga first saw it truly embodied in eleven-year-old Minis.
That's the bunny!
You don't lose that arrogance in civil wars. Look at "The Saeth Shayll Rahs Agin" string-tie-wearing old money in the southern US. They got beaten, yes, but by Americans, so it doesn't sting like, oh, say, being conquered economically by the Chinese would.
Of course,
you have to take into consideration that the religion might have been imposed to subjugate the appropriate people at the appropriate time, and make them like it. Kind of like the establishment of the public school system that supported the industrial revolution, along with the artificial ripping apart of the family as the unit of production, creating a 'bread-winner' and his support/dependants. Neither of those is seen as deliberate but they were both necessary to even have a wage-driven work force.